Wednesday, October 11, 2006
"Wad hppns wen another appear? wad happns wen ure begining 2 feel tired of waiting? Wad will hppn 2 e one whom u tot was e one? Maybe he was not the one for u afterall. Maybe its u who r x loyal. Jodoh di tgn tuhan. Belive in fate! Stay strong"~Mahera~
Today, was yet my longest day eva...wif only 2 hours of sleep, no sahur, i stat my day teaching. it was herroundeous...i was soo bloody fed up wif alot of classes, scolded A LOT of student.... i was black. evil n errgghh!! i donno wat to say, dat girl, wasnt me. den, it was gals nite out wif my usual gerl frens....my mood was all over the place...i was feeling drained arh..the only thing dat actually keeps me going was mardy...i was juz holding to her all the time...den, i was kinda not on the rite mind when i met wif Azlina's fren's fren. lets name him aff. aff sells drinks...actually, i didnt even notie him, i was luking, gazing, adimiring the drinks....untill...i noticed a tatto on his wrist....hahaha!! a link...remember??? ok~~so, i luked at him, dimple, yet, another link......when azlina, n de rest was talkkin abt him how he " mengeletar" or watsoeva, i wasnt really paying attention n my mind was drifted to..."smwhere else"...i bcome, emotional...n i kinda like...i donno how u describe it arh...like, bck to square one i gez....i did hear wat mardy said,"i mean, dis is geylang seh, its like impossible for u not to meet anyone u know" at dat moment, i said to mysef, "mardy, i can name u one person dat i confirm wont see, not bcoz i noe where he is, but bcoz, i wll nvr see him again"~~hell yeah i met alot of ppl!!! to name some, amri's gang, firdaus yusof, dis guy i nvr see for a few years, arrif, Mr. Fadlhur, dis actor frm selagi ada kasih...GOD!!!
after we ate whole heartedly, we went for prayer n went bck to aff stall's again...i was juz lukin at his tatto...juz wanna get a glimpse of his dimple smile, i wasnt developing a crush on him, but in him, i saw..."him"...the feeling, of comfort, dat i yearned for all this while was, right infront of me...den, i noticed his right arm, he covered it wif sm sort of bandage...another link....den, at dis time of point...i was juz abt to hug him...yes, i said hug...i was reminded of all the things dat hppnd....den, after we bought the drinks, we left, truth, i didnt wanna go...i wanna luk at him...foreva...den, as we walked away... azlina wanted to buy chae kuay wif sotong, so we patah balik, den, i yet see another guy wif a bandaged arm, covering his tattoo...i was abt to cry, i was trying to catch dat person eye n smile at him...but, i didnt, i juz luked away, i feel so bloody stooopid!! like a total idiot...every thing i see, i'll think of him...it was juz making me nuts.the worst part of it all, is thinking of the moments we spent, n how he ended it so easily... i was abt to xplode...i didnt even notice wat we were talking or walking...i was directionless....i was juz holding to mardy.....den, at dat moment....mahera smsed me wif the msg aboved.....i was abt to cry, i held bck my tears, den, mardy saw it...i hv no xplantaion to her...so i juz brushed her off... turned, she, undersatndingly, leave me alone for me to gather my strenght bck n smile again... Afterwards, like an award winning actress, i acted...like i am ok....~~~~
For, mahera to go to the trouble, msgin me wif smthg strong n yet totful, wif much sensitivity n care. wif much encoragement n love, even she is ava so busy...even she oways hv dis srtong stand n normally juz knocks my head to get it bck to sense, for her to do smthg like dat, it had brought tears to my eyes...* n, it still does*
For mardy, understanding my need, no qsn asked, holding me still...helping me wif no doubts, held my hand all tru the way.....make the tears fall...*it still does*
thank you...even i hv not much to say, i think, the words fits perfectly...i wish, everyone in dis world hv frens like dem....both of u, r perfect to me...
my frens...i will not make u worry...no more...FIZA FIGHTING!!!!!
i love you
always...
*sobs...sobs..*
she told
the story ...
11:43 PM
